• Contact us
  • About us
  • Digital edition
  • Online archive
Friday, May 9, 2025
Cumberland and Westmorland Herald
  • News
    Donald Campbell’s Bluebird to return to Ullswater

    Donald Campbell’s Bluebird to return to Ullswater

    Eden man shares his memories of VE Day, 1945

    Eden man shares his memories of VE Day, 1945

    Joan marks 100th birthday with special party

    Joan marks 100th birthday with special party

    Eden couple celebrate diamond anniversary

    Eden couple celebrate diamond anniversary

    Rethink your password in light of recent cyber attacks

    Rethink your password in light of recent cyber attacks

    Couple giving new life to outdoors kit in Penrith

    Couple giving new life to outdoors kit in Penrith

    Fears Tebay to be ‘cut off like an island’ during months of bridge works

    Fears Tebay to be ‘cut off like an island’ during months of bridge works

    Thieves ransack treasured Penrith garden

    Thieves ransack treasured Penrith garden

    Lake District community saves village shop

    Lake District community saves village shop

  • Sport
    Darren Edmondson leaves Penrith AFC

    Darren Edmondson leaves Penrith AFC

    Lucy plays key role in county T20 triumph

    Lucy plays key role in county T20 triumph

    Gold for Keith in annual festival of orienteering

    Gold for Keith in annual festival of orienteering

    Cumberland and Westmorland wrestlers head to European championships

    Cumberland and Westmorland wrestlers head to European championships

    Kirkby Stephen Hockey Club win league title

    Kirkby Stephen Hockey Club win league title

    Dedicated Eden football volunteer wins major award

    Dedicated Eden football volunteer wins major award

    10-year-old footballer Casper Ostrowski snapped up by Morecambe

    10-year-old footballer Casper Ostrowski snapped up by Morecambe

    Kirkby Stephen U18s win bronze at national hockey championships

    Kirkby Stephen U18s win bronze at national hockey championships

    Penrith swimmer inducted into Cumbria hall of fame

    Penrith swimmer inducted into Cumbria hall of fame

  • Obituaries
  • Nostalgia
  • Online archive
  • Buy Photos
  • Buy your paper
  • North Lakes Living
No Result
View All Result
Cumberland and Westmorland Herald
  • News
    Donald Campbell’s Bluebird to return to Ullswater

    Donald Campbell’s Bluebird to return to Ullswater

    Eden man shares his memories of VE Day, 1945

    Eden man shares his memories of VE Day, 1945

    Joan marks 100th birthday with special party

    Joan marks 100th birthday with special party

    Eden couple celebrate diamond anniversary

    Eden couple celebrate diamond anniversary

    Rethink your password in light of recent cyber attacks

    Rethink your password in light of recent cyber attacks

    Couple giving new life to outdoors kit in Penrith

    Couple giving new life to outdoors kit in Penrith

    Fears Tebay to be ‘cut off like an island’ during months of bridge works

    Fears Tebay to be ‘cut off like an island’ during months of bridge works

    Thieves ransack treasured Penrith garden

    Thieves ransack treasured Penrith garden

    Lake District community saves village shop

    Lake District community saves village shop

  • Sport
    Darren Edmondson leaves Penrith AFC

    Darren Edmondson leaves Penrith AFC

    Lucy plays key role in county T20 triumph

    Lucy plays key role in county T20 triumph

    Gold for Keith in annual festival of orienteering

    Gold for Keith in annual festival of orienteering

    Cumberland and Westmorland wrestlers head to European championships

    Cumberland and Westmorland wrestlers head to European championships

    Kirkby Stephen Hockey Club win league title

    Kirkby Stephen Hockey Club win league title

    Dedicated Eden football volunteer wins major award

    Dedicated Eden football volunteer wins major award

    10-year-old footballer Casper Ostrowski snapped up by Morecambe

    10-year-old footballer Casper Ostrowski snapped up by Morecambe

    Kirkby Stephen U18s win bronze at national hockey championships

    Kirkby Stephen U18s win bronze at national hockey championships

    Penrith swimmer inducted into Cumbria hall of fame

    Penrith swimmer inducted into Cumbria hall of fame

  • Obituaries
  • Nostalgia
  • Online archive
  • Buy Photos
  • Buy your paper
  • North Lakes Living
No Result
View All Result
Cumberland and Westmorland Herald
No Result
View All Result
Home Ross Brewster

We need to relearn the lost art of making small talk

by CWH
4 October 2024
in Ross Brewster
A A
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Nobbut Laiking, by Ross Brewster

We need to talk. Seriously, we need to re-learn the ancient British art of making small talk before it is lost forever.

I picked up on an interview one day last week on local radio with the author of a book about social anxiety. The lost art of conversation.

The gist of the interview was that one in five of us is suffering from social anxiety. Making friends, even casually at work, on the bus or train, in the café or pub, is getting harder.

You only have to look at Amazon’s book store to see how many writers are making a living from educating us in what should surely come naturally without spending 20 quid on some Americanised nonsense.

The Americans are the worst when it comes to talking. Studies show they feel less connected to their fellow humans as the art of conversing gradually dies.

I can tell you a major cause without spending money on books, or feeling the need to consult clinics and gurus who promise to make you feel better and your bank account lighter.

That little rectangular shaped device in your hand. Put it away. There, that’s a start along the path to recovery.

Nearly all of us have one. We have convinced ourselves how indispensable they are. How could we live without them? How would we fill every idle moment without a scroll button to produce our emails and our entertainment?

We have already lost the skill of writing letters. Who, apart from elderly people who don’t have smartphones and laptops, sends a handwritten letter any more?

Don’t let us lose the art of small talk as well. Not even that good old stand-by, the weather, seems to work.

Wherever you go now there are people with their heads down, prodding a keypad. You can’t possibly strike up a chat with a stranger when you aren’t even looking at them.

It’s awful seeing families in restaurants, mum, dad, the kids, all non-communicating as they sit playing with their phones.

There are times when we love ’em. Like if we break down in the car and need help. People with serious health problems also need a phone in case of emergencies. 

Look, I confess. Until a year ago I had managed to make do with the most basic of phones. One that did nothing much other than make and receive calls.

But then I succumbed to the need to be like everyone else and have a phone that did just about everything except make the tea.

It can easily become an addiction. I can understand now how quickly the smartphone can become the most important thing in your life.

You can’t halt progress, if progress is what it is. You can’t turn the clock back to some happier, chattier golden age. The implication in all the self-help books is that it has made us scared of starting a conversation, no matter how trivial. 

So switch off once in a while. Smile at people around you. “There’s snow forecast for Christmas.” A perfect ice breaker.  Even a talking point about the miserable summer weather can spark off a conversation.

Most of all, put the phone away. It’s a barrier between you and the rest of the world. Practise a bit of small talk. You never know. You might find you make a new friend.

It’s down to the parents

Parents have a big part to play in weaning kids off excessive use of phones.

A number of schools have introduced policies surrounding phones in the classroom.  The Ormiston Academies Trust, for example, has banned phones during the day, affecting 35,000 pupils in 42 schools.

Their aim is to minimise disruption and improve behaviour in classrooms. But ultimately it’s down to parents. Schools can’t deal with the addiction without parental support.

Being prepared for the worst

I had a squash partner whose unusual job was writing about living people as if they had just died. He was the official obituarist for a TV company.

It’s one of the best-kept secrets in journalism. Being prepared. The Times has 3,500 obituaries of famous people already on file and ready to be dropped into the newspaper the moment one of them kicks the bucket. It will be the same at the BBC and ITV who rely on the immediacy of news, even bad news.

For many years The Times was sniffy about including obits of pop stars. When Mick Jagger asked to see his obituary his request was refused. He took it in good grace.

Deaths have always been a part of local newspapers. I remember my first obituary and the visit to the deceased worthy’s home to interview his widow and family.

I listened patiently to the details of the man’s life and tea was served. Then the grieving wife spoke up. “Would you like to see him before you leave,” she inquired.

Crikey, I thought he was dead. And here she’s telling me he is in the front room. 

It was tradition in some families to have the dear departed at home prior to the funeral. It was my first dead body of many to come.

Tags: premium

Related Posts

Haven’t police got anything better to do than pursuing ‘non-crime’ hate incidents?
Ross Brewster

Haven’t police got anything better to do than pursuing ‘non-crime’ hate incidents?

22 November 2024
Can someone pull some rabbits out of the hat to lighten the mood?
Ross Brewster

Can someone pull some rabbits out of the hat to lighten the mood?

8 November 2024
Fining parents isn’t the answer to school truancy problem
Ross Brewster

Fining parents isn’t the answer to school truancy problem

1 November 2024
Have we become a nation of wimps?
Ross Brewster

Have we become a nation of wimps?

25 October 2024
A bald man has sued for sexual harassment – I say keep your wig on, mate
Ross Brewster

A bald man has sued for sexual harassment – I say keep your wig on, mate

18 October 2024
Subbuteo is still alive and flicking
Ross Brewster

Subbuteo is still alive and flicking

27 September 2024
No Result
View All Result

Stay connected

Facebook Twitter Instagram

Most popular

Donald Campbell’s Bluebird to return to Ullswater

Donald Campbell’s Bluebird to return to Ullswater

9 May 2025
Brush up on your Herald history – a look back through our archives

Brush up on your Herald history – a look back through our archives

9 May 2025
Joan marks 100th birthday with special party

Joan marks 100th birthday with special party

9 May 2025
Cheery character Derick Wilson was not afraid of hard work on the farm

Cheery character Derick Wilson was not afraid of hard work on the farm

9 May 2025
Darren Edmondson leaves Penrith AFC

Darren Edmondson leaves Penrith AFC

9 May 2025
Rethink your password in light of recent cyber attacks

Rethink your password in light of recent cyber attacks

8 May 2025
Cumberland and Westmorland Herald Logo

33 Middlegate
Penrith
Cumbria
CA11 7SY

Phone: 01768 862313
Email: news@cwherald.com

Registered in England as Barrnon Media Limited. No: 12475190
VAT registration number: 343486488

Explore

  • News
  • Sport
  • Farming
  • Property
  • Obituaries
  • Nostalgia
  • Your view

Useful links

  • Contact us
  • Photosales
  • Online archive
  • Buy your paper
  • Digital edition
  • North Lakes Living
  • Advertise
  • About us

Follow us on

© Barrnon Media Limited 2020

Terms & Conditions / Privacy Policy / Cookie Policy

This website and its associated newspaper are members of the Independent Press Standards Organisation
IPSO Logo
Review Your Cart
0
Discount
Add Coupon Code
Subtotal
Total Installment Payments
Bundle Discount
Checkout

 
0
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Obituaries
  • Nostalgia
  • Online archive
  • more
    • North Lakes Living
    • Buy Photos
    • Buy your paper
    • About us
    • Contact us

© 2020 Cumberland & Westmorland Herald