Kay Whittle (née MacGregor) was born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne in 1948, the first daughter of Ian, an engineer, and Elizabeth Harlock.
Her father was a proud Scot, and her mother was from a long line of northern Quakers. These two threads were to shape both her professional and personal values over her lifetime.
The MacGregors, along with her younger sister Anne, moved to Scarborough where Kay attended Gladstone Street Primary School. Later, in 1960, the family moved to Birmingham where she attended Edgbaston High School for Girls and then she went as a sixth form boarder at The Mount School, York, a Quaker school.
When she approached her rather severe headmistress and announced that she wished to go to a modern university to read sociology, at the time rather too trendy for most, she was met with a cold stare.
Graduating in 1970 she trained with Birmingham Social Services as an unqualified child protection officer. Kay was fearless and committed to the safety of children. She worked in the toughest council estates, often escorted by police. She married John, a teacher, in 1972 and they remained married for 52 years.
As both careers progressed, by 1987 Kay was leading North Oxfordshire during which time she attended Oxford University. Following the Cleveland child abuse crisis she moved north, to lead the reorganisation of child protection as deputy director.
Two years later Cumbria County Council approached her to lead Cumbria Social Services.
Kay was the first woman director of Cumbria Social Services and of any county in England.
It was a post she was to hold for 10 years. She settled in Penrith and loved the county, travelling it widely, building protection for all vulnerable people and fearlessly standing up for her staff and service. She and John Spedding (Mirehouse) were to initiate Cumbria Community Foundation and prior to that Cumbria Voluntary Action.
She was a member of Penrith Meeting, attended Mosedale Meeting and later became a director of The Retreat Hospital, York — a Quaker hospital specialising in eating disorders and mental health. She made a huge number of professional and personal friendships in Cumbria as her clear, kind yet unswerving values rang true with all that met her.
Retiring at 50, Kay turned her attention at first to chairing NHS enquiries. She became a lay member of the General Medical Council’s Fitness to Practice Panel, where doctors who fell below professional standards were judged and disciplined. Later the General Dental Council also invited her to pursue similar work. During this time, Kay also served on the committee for St John Ambulance, Cumbria.
Kay was from a generation of young women who pushed the glass ceiling away.
Any man who assumed superiority whether within the county or beyond because he just happened to be male was in for a firm, robust, yet diplomatic surprise.
Kay retired at 65, having refused any formal recognition, to join John on many adventures to ever more remote corners of Scotland where she inevitably made yet more friends.
Kay was a superb gardener, a member of Cumbria Rural Choir, a fully qualified yacht skipper, a solid and indefatigable fells woman, a mountain rescue team wife, a solid skier, an excellent cook, and hostess. She was a first-rate plants woman and a knowledgeable naturalist. She made deep and lasting friendships wherever she went.
Though choosing to not have her own children she was an immensely proud godmother with 11 godchildren, all of whom with their own children she loved, and they loved her. Nephews and nieces, and friends’ children were all within her warmth.
Birthdays were never missed, the house always full of laughter and fun whenever children and their parents appeared. For those that knew her, she was remarkable — kind, modest with a fine sense of humour and yet grounded.
Kay died at home after a long illness initially diagnosed in the early lockdown of COVID.
Supported by an outstanding team of health professionals, her final days with John at their home in Newton Reigny were both graceful and calm.
