For one night only, an arresting performance of master p-l-antomime

Date: Monday 7th January 2019

Sir, Perhaps readers might wish to round off their seasonal entertainment by attending our council’s own adaptation of “Sleeping Beaty”.

This is strictly a once-only production, with the curtain going up at the town hall on Thursday, 10th January, at 6-45pm. Although free, seats will be limited, even though the entire population of the district may wish to be there.

Readers will be aware, given your previous coverage and perhaps having attended earlier rehearsals, that the council’s libretto varies alarmingly from the traditional version and thus emotions on the night are likely to run high.

Anyone attending must be warned in consequence, remembering the disturbance at a recent meeting of the cast on 11th October, that any audience participation, vocal or otherwise, will be immediately suppressed by the minders and, if they are unable to cope, then the Hunter Lane riot squad will be summoned as previously.

It will be expected nevertheless that this “master p-l-antomime” will be no different in format from the conventional one and a happy ending is mandatory.

Thus it can be guaranteed, once Sleeping Beaty and some of the main characters are awakened from their year-long disengagement from the real world, that common sense will be restored, that our town and environs will be spared Armageddon and that we can all live happily ever after. Oh yes we will. Yours etc,

MIKE OLIVER

The Pinfold,

Lazonby.